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Postal Dude/Synopsis
The synopsis of the Postal Dude from Postal. Biography ''Postal'' In the first game (and its remake), the Postal Dude has little to no backstory at all, being shown just as a common postal service worker who goes on a killing spree believing his eviction was the cause of a conspiracy, deciding to kill everyone in town. The manual mentions that he believes the town to be under some sort of madness outbreak and that it is up to him to stop it, as well as the in-game diary of the Dude ranting about "cleansing" the Earth. This Dude is confirmed by Running With Scissors to not be the same one who appears in POSTAL 2. ''Postal 2'' The Postal Dude Jr. (son of T. Dude Sr.) moves to the town of Paradise, Arizona, after being hired by the independent game company Running With Scissors Inc. He lives in a trailer with his pet dog Champ and his unnamed obnoxious wife, whom he just calls his bitch. At the beginning of Monday, his wife gives him a list of errands to complete. PD goes to RWS office but ends up fired, and at the end of the day claims to his wife that he's on a sort of vacation, so she gives him errands for the rest of the week. Every time the Postal Dude returns to the trailer, he is heard talking with his wife, often in a hostile tone. PD's errands are often very simple things (like buying milk on Monday or getting signatures for a petition on Tuesday), however they often end with PD having to confront various groups. Shortly after getting his paycheck and being fired, the RWS office is attacked by protestors, forcing PD to deal with them, and when he goes to the bank to discount the check the place is stormed by armed robbers. During Tuesday PD goes to the church to confess, but the place is attacked by Taliban terrorists. When he goes to the library to return a book, a hate-group against books burns the entire place with PD and other people still inside. Lastly he goes to the mall to get an autograph of Gary Coleman's autobiography, which he intended to sell on Ebay, but shortly after getting it (if a copy was obtained peacefully, and the celebrity is alive) Gary is surrounded by the police, prompting a gunfight. On Wednesday PD is forced to confront a group of rednecks when he gets a Christmas tree and is later knocked unconscious by them while pissing on his father's tombstone. They put him on a gimpsuit, so he is forced to go to the laundry to pick up his clothes. During Thursday PD goes to the mall to buy a Krotchy doll, but Krotchy informs him that all dolls are sold out, so PD (if he doesn't trade all of his money for it or a signed copy of Coleman's book, or in addition to the former) invades the shop's back room to steal one, which prompts a gunfight with the police and Krotchy himself. PD decides to buy napalm to get rid of the weeds on his garden, but the napalm factory explodes after a worker vomits on a control panel. PD also wanted to buy some steaks to attend a meeting, so he goes to the butchery but since nobody was attending the place he invades the back room, only to find a group of butchers grinding people alive, which of course don't want PD to leave the place alive. On Friday, PD goes to the Parcel Center to get a package addressed to him, but when the parcel explodes the carriers attack PD. PD also goes to the junkyard to get a new alternator for his car, but an accident causes the dogs on the place to be set free and attack him. The last errand has PD going after his Uncle Dave to give him a birthday gift, but since Uncle Dave's cult had taken over a compound they end confronting the ATF's forces. After all errands are completed and PD passes through a Load Zone, the Apocalypse begins and all hell breaks lose on Paradise, with everyone turning hostile and shooting each other while cats rain down from the skies. Once PD finally returns to his trailer, his wife asks him if he remembered to bring her her Rocky Road, which she had asked him to on Monday. Distressed, the Dude shoots himself in the head. ''Postal 2: Apocalypse Weekend'' On Saturday, the PD wakes up in a hospital, discovering that he somehow had survived the bullet. Leaving his bed, he walks by the hospital to donate his semen to gain money so he can go eat something. However, on his path he starts to have weird hallucinations, seeing a distorted version of the world because of the wound in his head. He gets some get-well cards in the hospital, one of them being from his wife angrily telling him she had left him, and others telling him his dog Champ had been taken to the dog pound. As he walks through the city, he notices everything has gone crazy, as now zombies roam the place. Because of the bullet wound, PD has constant hallucinations, seeing the world in a distorted madness. After helping a police officer by killing diseased cows and pigeons to get some money, he is re-hired by Vince Desi of RWS, who wants the Dude's help due to their employee Mike J having been infected with mad cow disease. Vince tells PD to invade the office of a rival company to steal a program. PD retrieves it after invading the company's office and confronting their CEO Phraud Hogslop, so Vince invites PD to a party at his house. As PD wakes up on Sunday, the place is attacked by zombies, so PD confronts them. Leaving the place, he is approached by the owner of a preservation site, who asks him to kill some elephants so he can make waste baskets with their legs. He is once again contacted by Vince, who asks him to get something to toast the competition, so PD has the idea of finding a good explosive. He invades a terrorist training camp and confronts the Taliban forces there, but is unable to find any explosive weapons. As he attempts to flee the place, the National Guard arrives and arrests everyone, including PD. Taken to a military base, he makes a escape while fighting the military forces, finding a nuclear warhead along the way. He returns to the rival company's office and places the warhead there, using a hole in the wall to reach the dog pound, where rednecks have been training animals to kill people. He confronts the rednecks and trained animals until he is cornered by a group of dogs, but Champ breaks through the glass ceiling and saves him. PD and Champ then attempt to escape the city by taking the bridge which is the only exit of the place, but not only it is overrun by zombies but the National Guard is also on the place, attempting to bomb the bridge so the zombies won't leave the place. After PD crosses the bridge and finds his trailer, he is attacked by Mike J, who mutated into a large demon-cow hybrid and claiming to be the Lord of Hellfire. PD confronts Mike J and defeats him, then gets into his car with Champ, leaving the town as the nuclear warhead explodes and decimates the town. ''Postal III'' Please note that RWS confirmed that Postal III is a spin-off and isn't canon to the Postal series. The Dude's car runs out of gas, and he is forced to stop in Paradise's twin city, Catharsis, which is extremely similar to Paradise but much smaller. Out of Gas, money and food the PD decides to work on the city trying to get some money, so he can continue his trip out of the country. During his path, the PD finds several odd jobs, but he is unable to make much money out of them due to various groups which get in his way. There are three endings on the game: the bad ending, in which the Postal Dude is arrested, the normal one, where he obtains gas and simply leaves the town and the good ending, where PD defeats the Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and becomes the new president of the U.S. When Paradise Lost got released, all events of Postal III were retconned into a nightmare that PD has during his coma. ''Postal 2: Paradise Lost'' As PD is escaping the nuclear meltdown on Paradise, Champ jumps from their car to chase after a cat, so PD is forced to make a U-turn to chase him, but a hallucination causes him to crash and become comatose. During his coma, PD has strange nightmares of a "dark future" (the events of Postal III). PD wakes up from his coma 11 years later, deciding to return to Paradise to search for Champ. After getting a piece of a map from a passerby, PD asks around for Champ's whereabouts, but people gets scared and run away in terror upon seeing his photo. As PD asks a person why people are having this reaction, the person tells him to meet the "Wise Man". Hungry, PD stops by the Cock Asian Restaurant, but once he gets his order the place is attacked by rabid dogs, one of them knocking the restaurant's sign and blocking the entrance. Forced to take the employees area to leave the place, PD discovers the employees have been killing dogs and using them for meat. PD goes to the animal pound on the old mall, but after seeing none of the dogs there were Champ he once again ends up trapped after a group of protesters release the caged animals. He finds a secret laboratory inside, where scientists were mutating animals, escaping after confronting the protesters and releasing mutated monkeys who help him. With no more clues, PD decides to meet the "Wise Man", who was living in the old RWS office. The Wise man turns out to be Krotchy, who shows PD a video explaining what happened in the town in his absence. When Champ returned to the town, he was affected by the radiation and grew to a monstrous size, terrorizing the townsfolk until a group of them cast a spell trapping him in hell. After that the town was split into various factions, each one with it's own leader. Krotchy tells PD that he must help the faction leaders if he wants to rescue champ and warns him about a dark persona living inside of him. On his way out PD is surrounded by zombies but is saved by Vince Desi, who invites PD to his church and promises him to help rescue Champ if PD do some errands for him. When PD wakes up on Tuesday, Vince greets him and gives him errands for the day: to buy toilet paper, deliver some motherboards and attack a rival company's office. While doing the errands, a voice continuously talks with PD from inside his head, giving him a few hints. When the Wipe House shopkeeper asks a ridiculous price for the product and PD decides to kill him or not pay up, the voice suggests him to just enter the employees area and steal some. When taking the motherboards to the arcade owner, he turns out to be an arms dealer, who asks for PD's guns in exchange for taking the motherboards. The voice in PD's head tells him he can just install the motherboards himself. PD returns to the church after the errands are complete, but the place is attacked by zombies. PD escapes the place, but is ambushed by Mike J, who orders the zombies to capture him. He wakes up the next day inside a cage in the junkyard, and asks the voice inside his head on who he is, but the voice tells him to not mind him since he "would be leaving his head very soon". Mike J shows up and releases PD, deciding to not kill him since he was making preparations for his wedding, so he tells PD to get some stuff for him in exchange for his life. He first has to collect donations, which Mike J tells him to do "the old fashioned way" as he gives PD a coffee mug. When PD leaves the junkyard, he sees a poster telling that Zack Ward was now living in town, so the voice suggests that he should meet Zack instead of collecting donations. As PD asks the denizens around for donations, but only gets some pennies, the voice continuously insists on meeting Zack. If PD were to not keep up with the old-fashioned way of collecting money, he agrees to visit, finding him at Winter Wonderland (originally the Police Station prior to the apocalypse). Zack, who was clearly high, asks PD if he was a fan, but PD replies that he doesn't remember his movies and then asks if Zack would consider donating, so Zack starts enumerating each movie he starred in, including the Postal movie, but PD still don't remember him. Pissed off, Zack decides to fight PD, forcing PD to either kill Zack and take the money from the vault, or run away and revert to collecting money via begging. After PD gets the money, as well as some A/C parts and a large breast pump from a farmer, he returns to the junkyard, so Mike J tells him to act as the priest for their ceremony. However, PD sees his old trailer in the place, realizing the bride was none other than the Bitch herself. She jumps out of the trailer, having lost all of her weight in the years that passed, and still angry at PD for not bringing her her Rocky Roadm attacks him. Forced to defend himself, PD defeats her either violently or by tricking her into striking cakes scattered around the battle zone, so Mike J attempts to save her by using his milk, only to wind up reverting her to her normal, obese form. PD leaves the junkyard and is approached by two midgets, but PD just tells them he doesn't want trouble and is just looking for his dog Champ. Realizing PD is referring to "El Perro Loco", the two midgets invite PD to their hideout to meet their leader. PD wakes up on Thursday inside a mine and immediately tells the voice to shut up once it mocks him. A midget brings him to their leader, who turns out to be Gary Coleman riding a tall, shirtless guy, communicating through the tall man and calling himself "Big McWillis". Coleman decides to help PD on his quest, giving him a few errands to get ingredients to make a cure for Champ. PD has to grab mechanical parts at the robotics factory, but has to confront rogue toilet robots as he leaves the facility. He also has to grab chemicals, having to confront the Rednecks if PD decides to steal it. However, upon getting the chemicals and leaving the laboratory PD is assaulted by two bandits, who steal all of his stuff, forcing him to go to their hideout in the old Parcel Center to retrieve it. His last errand is to ruin a karaoke to "end the tall one's oppression", which PD does by either simply singing badly on the karaoke or destroying the equipment by force. Upon returning to the mine, Gary Coleman uses his urine to make the antidote, but the voice tells PD to test it first. He uses the antidote on Big McWillis, who shrinks and drops Gary into a pit, prompting all the midgets to attack PD. PD escapes the mine and wonders which faction he would run into next, but soon the Taliban and Osama show up, having turned into marijuana-addict hippies and willing to help PD to open the Hell Hole and rescue Champ. The voice inside PD's head starts laughing and PD collapses. PD wakes up the next day and notices his head wound doesn't hurt anymore, but he is soon greeted by his evil counterpart, the Dude from Postal III, who tells him he just got out to take some fresh air and rescue "his" dog, running away shortly after. Osama greets PD again, giving him errands to get materials to make a bomb and also to get some herbs for them. He goes to the Survivalists' camp to get some C4 explosive, but since the security was high he decides to not make much noise, but P3D ruins his plan by detonating an explosive barrel, alerting the survivalists to PD's presence and forcing PD to fight his way through the camp. PD also goes to buy a blasting cap at the Lucky Ganesh store, being forced to fight a group of gays wearing gimpsuits who invade the place. His last errand is to get herbs from a plantation at the edge of town, once there he finds Uncle Dave is running the herb business, but the place is stormed by the Narcotics. With all errands done, PD returns to Osama and gives him the materials. After the bomb is done PD thanks them and tells he's sorry about "the whole 72 virgins deal never working for them", which prompts the Taliban to turn violent again. PD escapes the sewer complex and arrives at the Hell Hole, but P3D blows it up first and goes ahead of him, so PD follows up straight into hell. After crossing Hell, he finally finds Champ and is forced to fight him before using the medicine. Once Champ is cured, PD and P3D start arguing about who he belongs to, but soon Mike J and the Bitch arrive, as the Bitch also claims ownership over Champ. She once again attacks PD, who knocks her over a lava pit. However, she mutates into a giant demon and takes Champ with her, so PD decides to go after her though P3D protests over it. If PD has not killed a single thing since the start of the Paradise Lost campaign and in turn defeats the Bitch without killing her, his former wife expresses how wrong she was about him and that she never loved Mike J, then pleads him to accept her back. Unfortunately for her, PD coldly rejects her, leaving her a sobbing mess. If he has killed anything, PD defeats the Bitch by using his bomb to blow her up. Regardless of whichever occurs, P3D takes them all out of hell. PD finally returned to town with Champ, while a second apocalypse begins. At this point the player is given two options, which affect the ending. If the player decides to leave Paradise, PD and Champ simply leave while the faction leaders end causing the apocalypse. However, if the player decides to "pay a visit" to the faction leaders and kill them, PD becomes the new ruler of Paradise. ''POSTAL 4: No Regerts'' ??? Movie Postal Dude is a very different character in the movie adaptation of the game. There, he is shown as a very unlucky guy who just wanted to live without problems. He cannot get a decent job and his wife, who is morbidly obese, cheats on him with everyone in town. Unable to stand for all of this anymore, he decides to get some money to leave the place, so he makes a deal with his uncle Dave, who is the leader of a cult, to steal a shipment of popular dolls (which resemble a scrotum) and sell them at a high price. However, the Al-Qaeda was also after the dolls, prompting a confrontation between the members of the cult and the terrorist group. Dave's right hand man kills him and imprisons PD in the compound of the cult. After escaping, PD goes nuts and starts a war against everyone, joined only by a bar-woman whom he had met before. As all fanatic groups confront each other, the two leave the town as it is bombarded by nuclear missiles. Postal Dude was portrayed by Zack Ward who most famously played Scut Farkus. Category:Synopsis